Anxiety:
What is it with anxiety any way? it is there one minute gone the next. One minute your fine the next minute it can hit you like a ton of bricks. It can come on anytime anywhere. Looking back on my life now I’ve always had anxiety mostly night time anxiety where I’ve lost a lot sleep.
When I was younger my parents always had trouble with me at bed time because I’ve always wanted to have my mother in with me until I would fall asleep looking back now I think it was because of a whole lot of circumstances occurring at that time but mostly my mother was in hospital during my childhood for various illnesses she had and would sometimes have to suddenly go to hospital and as a five or six year old child I felt she was going and never coming back and would start crying hysterically. As the years went on she was getting better and had to stay in hospital less and less (thank God) but I always had it in my mind that she may have to go and go suddenly and I may not see her for a long time that is why I remember I would not sleep until I knew she was near by. This went on for many many years well into my late teens. In my 20′s I knew I would be moving out of my parents house in the next few years and we lived in a house with not many bedrooms however I asked my parents if I could stay in one of the rooms on my own for the 1st time in my life and that is when I started to get my own independence because I had to look after my own little space. It was my space and after a little while I felt the clinginess to my mother started to lessen. I was probably still having anxiety I mean I didn’t even hear of anxiety back then because it was so hidden and not even mentioned anywhere and this was not even 10 years ago.
Fast forward 4 years and my brother and I moved out of our parents house and that was a hugh deal. I didn’t know it at the time because we felt it was about time we did move out and all the hustle and bustle of what goes with moving out was keeping us busy. Then 6 months later I was on a scheme where I had to work 19 and a half hours a week for a year. In hindsight now I should have waited a while longer to find out more about the scheme and ask myself whether I’m capable of doing this at this time in my life right now but I didn’t think I just thought that it is a great opportunity to gain valuable skills for the work place and don’t get me wrong I learned a lot in the scheme but I should have waited until I was more settled into my own house before I started it. During that year I started getting nighttime anxiety again and I would often go nights without sleeping or only get an hours sleep at a time and I didn’t go to the doctor about this until about a year later because I felt I didn’t need to go to the doctor I wanted to try and get over this myself. I didn’t know this at the time but my family members were getting worried about me. My whole personality changed and I didn’t even notice it, all I knew is that I talked a lot, I cried a lot and the odd time I did have suicidal thoughts. I knew I wasn’t going to do anything drastic but there were times where I was scared and my family were scared also but about going to the doctor I was so stubborn and not only that I didn’t have the energy to go to the doctor because I was so tired after little to no sleep and doing 19 and a half hours of work. On the days I didn’t work I was too tired to go to the doctor.
Now fast forward to last November a month after I finished where I was working. I decided to go to the doctor for the 1st time about this issue. My doctor and I were very reluctant about sleeping tablets but my doctor felt it would be ok for 2 weeks to be on them and lo and behold I slept for those 2 weeks and then just before the 2 weeks were up I was starting to get anxious again thinking what will happen when I go off these tablets will I just go back to square one again. I wasn’t addicted to them or anything I know when I need to take them and when it could be time to go off them but at the time I was worried it would go back to the way I was again and my brother would say the doctor won’t let that happen. When I went back to my doctor I was put on other tablets to relax me. I then went to a psychiatrist and took part in an anxiety management course and am now doing occupational therapy and when I go in the next time I will ask if I can have a counselor I can talk to more often.
Also during this time I would be so anxious at night time I would have to ring my parents. That did stop for a while but I have had many set backs set backs so severe that I felt I was back to square 1 again. I would cry, feel so anxious that I feel sick however even though I still ring my parents on anxious nights I have cut down a lot. I mean I used to do this every night for a very long time now it is when I feel it is getting too much for me. For a long time I have also been putting off calling a charity called the Samaritans that are there to help people.Their number is 116123 same number applies to the UK and Ireland if anyone needs to talk to them about their mental health on matter what time of day it is they are there 24/7 anyway I felt really uncomfortable about doing that for some reason and in the last month I bit the bullet and rang them twice. It took a hell of a lot of coaxing from my family.
I do at times need to take low dose tablets that my doctor prescribes but I am getting better now. It will take a long time for it to be corrected fully and everyone has anxiety at some stage. I just wanted to do this page to help other people in similar situations and maybe you can help me be leaving a comment of your experience. Thanks for reading and remember there is always help for you. God bless you.
Weight
Let me 1st say I am 30 years old and I am currently trying to lose weight. I live with my twin brother who is a healthy weight and a great support to me.
As children my brother and I used to eat food that was less than healthy for us you know like sausages, fries, soft drinks all the stuff that didn’t have the word healthy on it :) When I was about 11 I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism/ Underactive thyroid One of the symptoms is weight gain. While this is a contributing factor towards my weight gain it can by no means be used as an excuse for all of my weight gain. It was this along with unhealthy eating and lack of exercise that caused my weight gain.
In 2009 when I was at my peak weight of 20 stone 4 lbs, I joined Weight Watchers. I suppose you could call this a bit of a success story that went a little backwards towards the end. I think I got down to about 13 stone with weight watchers which was great and they were a big help. In order to get a free membership I had to get down to about 9 stone which I felt was way to thin for me, as I am 5 feet 9 inches in height a healthy weight for me is about 12 stone, so this kind of put me off and I stopped going to Weight watchers, before I ended with weight watchers I was referred to a dietitian by my Doctor and kept losing the weight. I did 3 x 20 minutes walking every day and was watching what I was eating. I was then advised to slow down on my weight loss as I was losing it fairly quickly and it wasn’t good for my metabolism. This is where things started to go wrong because I cut down on my exercise and upped my food intake in order to slow down my weight loss but I was doing it too much my weight went back up to what I currently am now. I now eat much healthier than what I used to and only have treats on Sundays however my problem is I am having too much of the healthier food (like brown bread) not vegetables. I rarely eat fruit which is bad and I need to change. I did some shopping yesterday and bought loads of vegetables. Unfortunately my dietitian had to stop coming to my local town and I was advised to get my doctor to refer me to another dietitian who would take her place however I feel that I can do it on my own (and my doctor agrees). I feel with the help of my family and the motivation of doing my weekly blog posts I can get down to my healthy weight of around 12 stone. I want to do it in small goals, for example I want to look from now until Christmas and then see how that goes. I am a very determined person and I mean what I say and try to stick to it. I am determined to lose the weight again and try to help others also.
It is important to lose a healthy amount of weight between 1-2 pounds a week is healthy. Make sure to go to your doctor who can advise on what is healthy for you.
There are many things that can help to motivate us on our journey. I use a pedometer to count my steps and today I restarted doing a food journal.
I hope to lose 1 to 2 pounds a week until I get to a healthy weight.
Motivation/Quote:
This motivation/quote comes from the bible it is Luke chapter 6 verse 37. This is only part of the verse. It tells us not to judge. This is especially important for people who are trying to lose weight and they hear other people criticizing them. It can really hurt, especially if you hear these criticisms as a child they can carry it through to adulthood and it can hurt and effect them. Remember if you judge people you don’t know what is going on in their personal life. Remember to motivate people rather than criticism them about how they look.
And to people who experience criticism, I say that you are beautiful people made in the image and likeness of God and you must remember that the people who criticize you may need help themselves. Remember when you feel down there is always tomorrow.
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